vineri, 2 decembrie 2011

Wishing won't make it so

Stop thinking about it, it's no use.

Stop looking at me and smiling, stop taking those oh-so-cute poses like you do. It's never going to work and you know it, we both know it. Hell, even the rest of us know it, that's why they smile so indulgently when they see us talking. Didn't you notice?

I could have taught you there is so much more to life than what you think there is, up in your I'm-better-than-this tower. You could have discovered that Cuba Libre is more than a saying and orange juice tastes way better with vodka in it. You know, like boyfriend said, I feel sorry for those who don't drink - when they wake up in the morning, it's as good as they're going to feel all day long. You would have known that 6 a.m. means it's time to go to bed and not time to get up. There's poetry in mornings when you put the rest of the world on hold. Let someone else save the world for once and keep dancing. Can't dance? I can't either. But I can sure wear those stilettos and go dancing in the snow. Haven't done that with any of the guys, honest I haven't. And even if I did, you still wouldn't know, especially not now that it's settled.

Probably it's all for the best. What would you have said when you found out that I smoke to start the day and to end it? That I can't sing to save my life and I own more pairs of shoes than I can fit into my kitchen? That I can't cook (or rather, I can, but you'll never know it, cause I'm too lazy) but I'm a star at ordering food? That I consider the kitchen to be storage space, since I never use it, and dusting makes me have a nervous breakdown every time. That I tried more colours on my hair than there are colours in the rainbow and I'm still not sure. That I don't believe in shooting stars but I believe in shoes and cars, as the song goes. That I listen to lyrics, not to music and I'm a sucker for a good story.

I stand by my make-up, make-up is protection, and by my earrings, that I wear six small ones at a time. I believe that heels are confidence and the best colour in the world is black. I don't drive fast, I fly low and I will play the princess every time. It's not that I can't do something, sure I can, it's just so much better when you do it ;)

Go on and be happy in your shell of a life. You got it all figured out, the home, the kids, the job. I bet you read about it in one of your books. I knew from the first glance that you loved reading. Too bad you can be so dumb while being so smart. You think you're leading the good life, the right life. Does it really make you happy? If it did, you wouldn't be talking to me like that, wouldn't be smiling when I bite my lips, now would you? I could have made you happy, and I mean really happy, not cardboard-happy.

Keep reading this over and over again - that's what it's here for. It's the virtual version of a sticky note that you put on your bedroom wall. It's here to remind you it's not possible, it's not real, it's never going to happen. The only problem is we both know that's a lie. We both know it might as well happen, but don't go admitting it to yourself. Especially, don't tell Santa Claus about your wishlist for this Christmas - or you might end up falling in love with me all over again.


Edit: as most of the stuff I write, this one's for a contest, too. The characters and ideas are (mostly) fictional. Does that make you feel any better? :))

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